every page of my life.

woa, it is really the end of 2011 already. in less than 24 hours, i'll be counting down to 2012 with F3 again. just to note, it will be our third year counting down together and the party later will be awesome! i just know it. well, if it isnt tradition. i just reread all my entries for the past year in 2011, one of the perks of having a blog. to think i thought this year flew passed and i thought i didnt do much. but in actual facts, i did did a hell loads of things. hell, i even went on 3 oversea trips. no wonder i'm so darn broke. just that the memories were so far away that i didnt think it was in this year. it's no wonder because my memories of the year is totally separated into two parts, mainly before the summer holiday and after (i.e. year 1 and year 2). 2011 has in fact been a pretty good year. and i actually did manage to achieve most of my realistic resolutions except for the overseas exchange one. in 2011 i did tried a lot of new things again. to sum up, i wen...

good food  good entertainment good company great night!

orchard is definitely not the place to be on christmas day. other than that, christmas this year was pretty good after we escaped from the crowded places. it was a good night with good food, good conversation, good company and even some christmas carols to add to the mood. oh and pretty lightings, plus a gift at the end, definitely very festive. A merry christmas i would say, all totally unplanned.

before my memories turn fuzzy, i would like to record this trip down. till now, i still have not found the reason why i signed up for this oversea cip trip. i just knew i had to go, maybe not this particular one but at the very least, once in my life. maybe i had some subconscious expectations already built up, that's why i'm feeling partly disappointed. but all in all, it was a good experience. though the whole part when i was terribly sick for 3 days i could have done without. there were a lot of little lessons learnt from the trip, too much to be summed up. but most of my fond memories i got from the trip are from the kids in the kindergarden and also from the YMCA Vietnam volunteers. i would say that we didnt do much on this trip, rather it was them who taught us much valuable lessons we tend to forget in this fast pace society. A lot of things we could have done better or i could have changed, but i didnt. nevertheless, it was all in all a good two weeks spent. i'm g...

okay so i had like a freak-out moment just now. when i panicked because i realised i'm flying tomorrow and it feels like i have a million things unsettled. suddenly i'm not so sure about this trip because there's so many what-ifs. and the thought of going to some place rural for two weeks with nobody i really know is kind of scary. but somehow, my heart tells me i got to do this. i hope this is the right decision. may all be safe and good for this experience.

today's take-away from the talk with m & m: when you are high on top, people tend to forget those below. every single time i think back to my decisions thus far, i have never regretted the schools i chose. because to me, it's the people that i met that matters. and to me, they really do.

one and a half year, the thought of the day ended up not to be examinations over or freedom, it was the realisation that half of my university life is over already. in a blink of an eye i would say. while we were sitting by the bay side, talking about the past semester and then times when we were year 1, it just dawned on us. it was in a sense, a total wake up call.

is it weird if i say that i'm actually enjoying this mugging period? yes the stress is there and all, some nights i find myself having trouble falling asleep. or some days i just cant fall back to sleep after i woke up at unearthly hours. and oh yea, i'm getting those stress headache nowadays too. but strange enough, i do wake up feeling happy almost everyday. i find myself enjoying the bus rides to school. the sunlight, good weather, the trees, the sky and the field i pass by everyday on the way, the babies or toddlers i saw, these are all the things i caught myself smiling to these days. one morning, i was actually fascinated by an army of ants transporting things while waiting for the bus. and i always find peace in these short morning bus rides to school daily with music playing in my ears. strange but true, maybe it's the routine life. the irony is that i actually feel happier when i'm studying. i think exams actually test much more than your knowledge. it put pe...

despite this intensive mugging period, i still really wanted to watch <<那些年>>。so i did! it was totally worth it. wanted to watch it since it was still in its filming stage, glad that singapore is showing it too now. i think the best kind of movie are those that relates and captures the audience heart, simply by telling a good story the right way. and this i guess is the charm of this movie, it makes people want to go back in time to those years and fall in love again. the movie left me pondering, and one day after watching, the images of it is still fresh in my mind. 但我真的觉得有些事，其实只要再勇敢一点点就好。 若男孩或女孩再勇敢一点，结局可能就不一样了。 但或许不一样不一定是好的，不一样的结局就没有这美丽又带点苦涩的故事了。 所以说人生中发生的每一见事，都有他的意义。

well, it is literally just another day. except today the date looks much nicer and special with all the ones. the cynics dissed the people who make a big deal out of it. it is like a marketing tactic, making something out of nothing. but guess what, i still want to believe in it. so that i can make the wish of my lifetime. and i did, wasnt even intentional. i just took my phone out and saw it! then on my ipod again! lucky :D and this kind of small thing can actually make my day.

"When I get upset, I shut down. I feel like should be crying or screaming or something but I can't because I'm turned off. I go silent and don't talk very much. I just sit there, and think." true that. when i'm really upset i do that. i go missing for a week or two, or even just a few days. when i'm beyond the point of angry or disappointment, i do that too. i stop trying to explain myself and just ignore. today i'm upset with myself, because i know that this result is all my own fault. i was complacent and i didn't work hard enough. Avoidance doesn't seem like the best approach but i choose it anyway. Every single damn time.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” i thought i've posted this before but apparently not. the reason why this quote stuck on me for so long is maybe i do question myself sometimes whether i'm really living? whether i am doing enough. yes, i may be busy but so? does that mean i'm living my life? found little enlightenment tonight through a friend. "everybody has different goals and expectations in life. so who's to judge if what you're doing is 'big' or 'meaningful' enough? i mean like so as long an individual gives his/her best shot, no regrets man." so i've been the one judging myself all this while. and this time i think maybe i shouldn't be so harsh to myself. well at least sometimes.

so it's another one of those supper night out, this time with only cream of the crops coz pui couldnt make it the last minute. went to a new place tonight, prata again with murtabak and teh. food was quite good. but the night walk around the shop houses and the estate was great, while we traded stupid stories we did when we were kids. then we climbed over the fence and went into the abandoned tanjong pagar railway station. cant believe my first time there is actually at this hour. fun night but we got a summon ticket at the end :/

proclaimed drinking session turned out to be one filled with competitive games of five stones and pick up sticks. and morphed into a totally high level of trust htht. but the magic was broken once we stepped out of the room. and so all we thought was why did we just said that. feeling like we crossed some imaginary boundaries yesterday night.

in the midst of hectic school week with quizzes and project meetings, i went to catch a movie with my tutorial mates, i.e cream of the crops which they like to call themselves. suave male lead, beautiful female lead, exciting fight scenes coupled with a super adorable and handsome kid is the winning formula to make an awesome movie, at least to me. haven't enjoyed myself so much and laughed so hard in theaters since the start of this semester. so say cheers to spontaneity and a great monday night!

so i was on this topic tonight, love. and the thing is relationship breaks you, i've seen so many cases recently. you gave someone your trust and your heart, and then it got broken. it somehow shatters you too, and people changes. that's the scary thing, people changes and they somehow never get back up again. it's like a small part of them died too when the relationship died. maybe that's why, maybe i'm scared. and i dont want to place my heart out. maybe

no photo today. cause it was raining, and the whole morning was too busy. so it's like this, it was a fine morning which i thought i had ample free time to run my errands. so it turned out my friend injured herself but didnt go to the hospital. and then i was looking for a car and a driver who is in school and has no lesson on a tuesday. while rushing around finishing my errands. then came the epic task of bringing her down to the car with 3 levels of stairs. every step was painful to her. it was painful to watch yet funny in a way. we shld totally have video-ed it down man, one epic sch day to remember.

impromptu craving satisfied. went to have dessert with tutorial mates after the submission of two projects. we were talking and then we realised that one year had passed. when we looked back, we did do quite a lot of stupid and crazy stuff last year. heh :D

time flies, we all know that. but this semester, it flew amazingly fast. recess week just passed, i didnt expect that it will be free. but i didnt even get a day for myself or my studies. it was dedicated to project meetings, salsa camp, tuitions and one day reserved for my sister. oh wells, at least life is kinda fulfilling now. just ended my stint for my psle kid, i hope he improves. primary school kids nowadays have a really sad life. not like the childhood we had and talked about during salsa camp. felt like i could had done so much more when i was young. six more weeks of school and it's exams time. better study hard!

we did that at the request of our very friendly stranger photographer. dinner was good with them, tried a new korean place and food. then it was chilling out at Tulles' Cafe. almost lost my pencil case and water bottle, thank goodness for small miracles in life.

do not over think, my mind

my dear salsa girls! cant believe one year has passed, lucky that i've met you two. if not i doubt i would had stayed so long. one more shot in 2012!

late night supper again with tutorial mates, despite having lots of work to do and camp the next day. just because we were randomly talking in a mass conversation on msn. spontaneous tonight, my marketing group. but the night ended with me feeling defensive and sour for not having my final say.

apple pie made by my tutee's mum. almost killed myself with minimal sleep and 4 hours of tuition. i really hope my student does well considering that i have put in so much effort to teach him. he is draining up all my free time and packing up my schedule. so please don't score 2/60 during PSLE section C alright?

this photo was taken after the event, of ITSC2011. when everybody else left, except for the five of us and the venue staffs. we had the whole dance floor to ourselves, and the feeling is great. prancing around freely and listening to our own powerhouse. you never could have tell how much effort has been put in for an event if you weren't involved. so many minute details and considerations, so many problems to solve. but still, i love to do events and chat up with new people. adults' stories are always interesting, i like to ask them how they came about their job. and it's rare when i find someone who can tell me with passion that she loves her job, even though she need to sacrifice her sleep and it's tiring. but tonight, i did.

 distorted paranormal photo tze char at canteen 5 with tutorial mates, after the disastrous 202 quiz. time spent with them are always enjoyable. sometimes, i wonder what would life in university be if i wasn't placed in that class last year. or actually, if i wasn't group into that marketing group wayne formed. hmmmm

Team Pro 1! proggies <3 unexpectedly satisfying and really fun day. ran a lot which i never do, tried a lot of new things, and felt closer to these people. next year i still want to go!

so you might have heard, year 2 is hectic like a what! i dont know why i'm so busy. i just know that i haven been home for dinner for ages, feels like i'm an unfilial daughter. and i haven had time for myself for so long, no rest day or free day. not even weekends. i haven slept till i wake up naturally for so long. 10 hours of sleep seems like a dream nowadays,  i'm lucky if i get 6 hours, especially this week. i haven cooked a decent meal for myself since school started, and i'm spending money like water. maybe 5 times of tuition is indeed too much for me. plus my other commitments. really need to catch up on my academics, because i swear i must pull up my gpa this semester. alright, i should really stop ranting.

a night filled with thoughts of regrets and what ifs. if time could turn back, there would definitely be drastic changes. things would be vastly different. but are you sure that would be what we wanted? i could drone on and on about all the what ifs and maybes, the possibilities will be endless. but there's no point other than making ourselves feel lousy. maybe all we need is a closure

i think this is the first lunch after school reopens i have with them. i really miss year 1, sem 2 especially. all the squeezy car rides out to lunch and ice cream!

if dance was a language, it got through to me today. watching people on stage giving their best and trying so hard tonight had moved me. maybe a lot of times, we are just going along with life instead of living. if it's a cause worth fighting or something worth trying, give it a go. let's not be trapped under one sole identity we try to keep ourselves to most of the time.

they may not be the best dancers i have seen. they may not have the dancer look or even look like they dance if i hadn't seen them on stage. but so what? it had been an awesome show. Maybe when ordinary people work together for a common cause and make it really happen. that's what makes everything so special. because for the first time i can actually really see a common group of people giving their best and trying so hard together. for what they think it's worth fighting for.

deep down, we are all vulnerable.

first week of school had been hectic, emotionally and physically.

so so great to see familiar faces. group hug in the middle of the bridge, lol! 4 hours break, chilling with core group mates. randomly singing with mics in hall, sing k in school. awesome supper drive night with okay only food but great htht session at west coast park. who knows first day of school can be so awesome when the next day is a holiday!

i wonder how many times i actually can feel this way anymore. probably the last few times. school reopens tomorrow, and yet again i'm feeling that i'm not ready, i'm nervous, i'm lost, i feel like sleeping in, i hope things will be fine. right, why do i still feel like a freshie. alright, let's make this semester great and worthwhile! study hard!

last relaxing day before school starts  ♥

is coming to an end. ): for the first time this summer,  i didn't work a full time job. i taught little kids baking, felt almost like a part time maid. i went to a mini supper road trip in singapore. i got really bad results. i went to krabi, kind of last minute, and only with a backpack. i snorkeled in the turquoise sea, even though i didnt know how to swim. i went to yet another new country i've never been. i've made new foreign friends. i plucked out three perfectly good teeth of mine at a dentist. i did root canal treatment. i became a brace face.  i stepped into the big 2 for the age column. i had a family war fare. i went to the toy museum for the first time, being led by the curator. i ordered beer for myself, but still disliked it. i overcame my fear (partially) and acted as a ghost. i pulled of my own planned event, somewhat successfully.  i was a programmer! so glad for all these first tries, and i should also really utter a thank you to simple plea...

7 days 6 nights, it's almost as long as my longest vacation yet the feeling is entirely different. guess this is the second camp in my life i felt so stressed over. the first one being jc orientation, that was another vivid feeling i wont forget, being the OGL. for this camp, it is another different kind of stress. but this was actually much better, because i had so many people i knew who would back me up and helped me if i fall. back when i was the OGL, it was only me, and me only. but still, the entirety of the situation still falls on you because ultimately you are the programmer so you call the shots. i guess for most of the camp, i just looked either sad, sick, stressed or just generally pissed off. and i'm so sorry about that! not to say regretting about it because it was me who chose to miss out on all the opportunities to have fun. yet camp ended, now i'm feeling all empty and lost. because one year of hard work has suddenly come to an end. well, 7 days seem lon...

i thought i'd write this down before i missed it. the results of one year of planning and effort starts tmr! i'm exhausted by the last minute rush these few days and the tides of events. i'm feeling nervous, stressed and excited about it. i hope the camp will turned out awesome. and please let my amazing race be amazing!

i'm been thinking thinking thinking, planning and planning. editing again and again, just because i think it's just not good enough. i need one more good idea please. sometimes this doesnt feel like a team, because everyone just cares for their own individual part. so when you need a second opinion, it's tough to find one.

so we held a celebration for ourselves, two weeks after the real day.  the candle was the hard part actually.  i love every photo in that album, didnt know which to choose!  so happy birthday twinnies! 

meetup with lgy finally! good food, chilled out afternoon talking about anything and everything. the luxury of a holiday. 

just our luck that every single shop seems not to be open on monday noon. original plan failed terribly and it was my plan :/ ended up at tcc, then pit stop, then saizeriya (saw Nat Ho btw!), then brewertz. from 1 to 11pm, totally unplanned. lucky the turnout wasnt bad and the people was spontaneous too :D HTHT at night was good too, minus the beer next time.

breko, catching up, ice cream. simple but really enjoyable. that's our girls night out for you!  ♥

today visit was great except that i'm ashamed that i'm late. it's great probably because the curator was with us. i think it's great if you have found passion in what you do, just like he did. today in toys i learnt: in little things lie great thoughts, if people actually take the time to think about it. one man's hope, the little kids' dreams

you know how we always tend to comment on other people's superficiality, how we complain people always judge us unfairly by the looks of things. but oh was i that person recently, the one judging harshly. and i forgot the brutality of the whole system, of the whole superficiality. i could say i was caught up in the whole situation, but fact is i was really that superficial person. people do favour the good looking, pretty people get away with mistakes or mean things they do. this is how the society works, hard truth. looks aint everything that i agree, but looks are not nothing. that i cant change

neither did we. we went ahead anyway. lucky for me i'm a girl, so i was let off easy. when were still freshies  look at the amount of alcohol the seniors brought us. enough for us to have one bottle each. and we already hid one bottle of hard liquor fyi.  now we have passed and become crazy seniors!

they say it like it's a big deal, stepping into the big two. but you know some people are twenty, but they act like they are twelve. some are twenty, but they act like they are twenty six. so i realise age is just a number. while aging is gradual. it doesn't mean that the day you turn twenty, suddenly you are not entitled to do some things anymore. so this birthday feels just like every other. still as blessed by the flood of well wishes, surprise, cakes and celebrations. i am very thankful for these people in my life  ♥

officially a braceface! if i sound excited about this, i'm actually a little bit. 'cause this officially means progress. the whole procedure took about an hour. and the part which hurts most is when the dentist is putting metal rings on my back teeth. after that he glued the metal bits one by one to my teeth and stringed the wire through, tightened one by one and cut the excess wire and it's done! i chose blue rubber for my first braces, but they werent baby blue like i wanted ): braces feels weird, it makes me unable to close my mouth properly or speak properly. and my face looks a little swollen. and i dont know how to smile anymore. and i didnt dare to smile at little kid on the way home coz i was scared i would have scared them. and the worst part is i cant chew again, so i cant eat. ):

when i was a kid, around lower primary school i think. i fell down and knocked half of my then growing front teeth down. it was a life changing moment, i didnt know then. after which, i went to school a few days refusing to smile or talk. till one day, i went to the dentist in school and they helped me remolded the teeth, filling up the gap. it was a long process i remember, because i even skipped class and spent the whole of recess doing it. and then i was happy again. at least for a while. until my teeth started to grow and started to jut out. i forgot when did it start, but i used to smile without my teeth. it looked way too awkward and didnt look like a real smile. then i gradually mastered smiling without showing my teeth. but still, it didnt look as jolly as when i started smiling showing my teeth recently. and there are still cases i look way too awkward. more than once i had the chance to do braces, but i declined. because when i was a kid, i believed that those who really ...

Though Krabi trip was very short, it was an epic one that i didnt know where to start from. I went expecting a damn nua, laying around doing nothing holiday but it was the opposite. We made new friends because the people were really friendly and welcoming. The sight were beautiful, water so clear and turquoise you can see right through.  Snorkeling for the first time is scary yet beautiful when you finally conquered your fear. and that feeling is absolutely precious and breathe-taking. Talking to the locals, going to where they hang out and where they stay, taught me a whole loads of things which i never would know if i travel the tourist way. And that is why i love travelling with these girls, they are a spontaneous and friendly bunch which always lead us to unexpected adventures. and without the usual blurness, there won't be any epic travel tales to tell. Meeting the right people is always the key, and i thank my lucky star for always allowing that to happen to us...

pluck three teeth yesterday, and woke up today morning with blood taste in my mouth plus teeth feeling sore and painful. it was torturous. because i couldn't eat much except porridge, since i can't bite. and i just had to keep swallowing blood taste saliva the whole day. morning went to do root canal treatment on my dead front tooth. i spent half an hour waiting for the dentist who turned out not to be my dentist yesterday. and two hours for the whole process, laying on the freaking dental chair with my mouth open, and going to do x-ray twice. half the time i was waiting for the newbie looking dentist to find the correct equipment she wanted. and she just kept me hanging there. so damn glad she's not my dentist! in the end she gave me bad news about my tooth. zz went back to school to pack logistics while feeling super lousy about my teeth. urgh hungry and cranky

currently feeling depressed as i'm mourning over my loss of my three good teeth. went to the dentist today expecting that i'm going to pluck my teeth except that i was still clueless about my situation without prior consultation. my dentist was quite kind, thank goodness. did the consultation and the bad news is one of my front tooth is dead due to bacteria invasion, prolly due to the fall. so i will need root canal treatment and crowning which means more money :/ see the hole! decided to pluck my teeth today since i had already prepared for it mentally. it was scary laying in the chair and the Anesthesia shots were painful! it was many many shots i cant remember. the dentist uses a plier to shake my tooth right and left, i can sense what's his doing but i can't feel it. while he does that, the nurse held on to my head to steady it while the dentist uses force to pull my tooth. somehow i felt like smiling or laughing when my dentist was plucking my teeth, weird. you ...

Sawadikap!just a short one now. Nua at the beach the whole day, tanning while enjoying the sea breeze then massage. living the beach town life! discovery in Krabi today: drinking water is sweet while bathing water is salty

i should be asleep now cause i've got a morning flight to catch. but being such a procrastinator as i am, i have not been done with my packing. oh man. i'm trying to generate my spontaneity and just go with the flow tmr as i have no absolute idea of what's gna happen. well, it's a much needed short getaway trip! so excited yet nervous!

it was an awful day, only my second day at work with kids. i didn't woke up feeling lousy, but by mid morning i was so drained of energy. and by the end of the first class, i felt like i had worked all day. second class wasn't any much better, we were purely powered by adrenaline. coupled by the fact that we were in such a rush that i didn't even eat lunch, or in fact anything except one cookie all day. i was really feeling like a drag and was deciding if i should skip the gathering. luckily i didnt! it was good seeing familiar faces after having to acquaint with so many new ones at work. dinner was comfortable but supper was even better! we were still deciding where to go on the car. before that we searched for the car for almost half an hour, can you believe it! so our decisions of supper place kept changing for around 5 times since we kept going off the wrong exit and getting lost. in the end, somehow we got to the initial place we wanted to go. ate rochor tauhuay and ...

on results, very nervous before it came out. i knew i wouldn't do fantastic this semester but i didn't expect this either. it was very shocking when the grades just suddenly all appeared without warning. i did not exaggerate when i say i have never seen something like this in my life. some obviously i thought i would fare better. once the shock registered, i was sad but i guess not utterly depressed but kind of angry. perhaps at myself. guess i'm an average student now. gonna study hard next semester. no, every semester from now on to pull up my grades. This is a note to myself

it started off lazing around at home and alternatively going out. then i decided that i really really need some income if not i can forget about going anywhere. so i accepted this ad-hoc job. everything was kinda last minute and on the spot, in fact very. the kids were cute, but oh man was the job tiring. both physically and mentally. i have to talk to kids in nice sweet voice, even though sometimes things are so chaotic i want to lash out at them to stop asking me questions and bugging me. baking had never been such a tiring chore, what's with washing all the small bowls, containers and little knicks-knacks. pretty things do come at a price. adorable kids are the only consolation and i only hope they are happy. with a teeny weeny memory retained of the day that they were a little baker. first session of the day was filled with the younger aged group. chubby little Shawn who likes to talk a lot, seems like the sociable type and a food lover. little Nicole with her Stitch dolly wh...

sometimes when i start judging people for their attitude, their actions. i'll remember this and try to think from their point of view. everybody has a story to tell, a reason behind their actions. and for that, i will try to be more understanding. 'cause you can't see who's secretly hurting behind their smiles.

new skin! love the random selection of icons by the side :D

last lap, i feel like i haven study much or hard enough yet i am so tired. exams side effects equate to big eyebags, pimples, fats fats fats, ulcers and the look on your face like someone sucked your soul away. acc was disappointing, mainly due to myself ): next time i should give myself lower expectations, so that i wont be so affected easily. le sigh believe it or not, i'm not exactly looking forward to the end of exams. because i have not plan my seemingly long yet short holiday. exams is like a pause button from all your other obligations. and i can already see all the emails sending all the shitloads over. damn, tell me it will all be worthwhile at the end of the day. and i need to find a job soon. hate to disappoint myself

it was just a random act, a sudden urge which led to opening a floodgate of memories. sometimes the human mind is weird, it tends to beautify the happenings that you wish to remember. or rather you remember how you interpreted the truth, not the facts of the truth. i realise i was never as great as i willed myself to remember. i was a bad friend, a conceited person and a failure in love. i should have cherished things back when i had them. but i'm still very thankful for all the friends i met from different walks of my life. no matter if we still are close now, or not.

a short one before the race starts tomorrow. i caught 11:11 on my clock just now. cant remember the last time i wish this hard for exams. i'm kind of regretting not studying or practicing hard enough. i know it aint my best effort, yet i dont know what came over me. i hope some part of my brain has sufficient logic and concepts on FM and jap tomorrow. right, shall not despair. i can do this!

everyone wants to be heard in this election. a note shared here, a video linked there. snide remarks on the opposite party you support, photo updates of the rallies. when did election became such a hyped national concern? amid all these voices and thoughts i just want to note down how i feel. so that if i ever get a chance to vote, i will remember how i first get to know politics. it's simple at first, the choice was clear. because there didnt really seemed to have any other options, not any worthy ones at least. since young, the environment taught us to be pro-white. we learn to be thankful to our forefathers, to see how the country transformed and developed. but apparently, the history we know was warped or rather censored. which reminded me of how Japan regulate their history textbook too about the WWII story. in a twisted way of thinking, we are actually like the people i saw in this North Korea's documentary 2 years back. of course not to that great an extent but simila...

hello, it's the month of may. and surprise! it's the month of exams too. which nicely coincides with quite a few of my good friends' birthday. that kind of explained why i have not touch my books since i pledge myself to full time mugging last friday. hence also why i'm actually very stressed yet sleepy from alcohol now. damn, i sincerely want to maintain my gpa if not raise my cumulative. and for that i have to work extremely hard. so people, please do me a favour and not ask me out till 19th may. (i have quite the difficult when it comes to outright rejecting my friends) and also try to shoo me offline when you spot me on msn, facebook and twitter. gosh, even politics updates and newsfeed reading can be such a distraction. the only thing that i'm supposed to read now are jap, fm, acc, IT and blaw. so guilt me, stress me, motivate me and stress me. i seriously need to start studying already! but my mind is so preoccupied with thoughts, to-do lists and...

from house surprise to squeezy sleepover to old school breakfast together at downstairs coffee shop to nua-ing & delaying time to korean bbq to surprise cake and wine, it was all great fun 'cause of the memories. but i just want to note down that one precious feeling when i was sitting there in the chair among the chaos and chit-chatting, reading that book of close to 3 years memories. it was a kind of moving happiness, where you want to smile and tear uncontrollably at the same moment. that book is one great treasure though not mine. but this family is one amazing treasure i found without deliberately finding three years back, all mine.

a camera,  a movie,  a car  and a dinner simple task, who knew it would become this tough - Hello Ghost (2010)

it's been long since i sat down and wrote about deep thoughts at this hour. tonight was one emotional night. once i left the dance floor, the emotions came rushing to me. i tried not to think or let myself feel affected, but i guess it did. i never dealt well with graduation or separation. and though it has been only one short year, the attachment is definitely there. i cant and dont want to imagine how's it like in two years time, and it will be me leaving. dance was a choice, and salsa was an accident. right now, i'm glad it happened. i still remembered the awkwardness at the beginning, when the joy was minimal. but now, i like how close we have all gotten together. who knows what will happen in the future? so i wish we all try new things, and take chances

 B&J FREE CONE DAY! finally, this year i went. it was a hot hot day, just right for ice cream. and luckily the queue was short.  out of all these, i had three! 2 cups 1 cone :D  totally out of my eating habit. they are the reason tuesday has been something for me to look forward to recently <3 if i could i would just stay there and chill under the hot sun. like we have nothing to care in the world. gorging on our ice cream and feeling blissful just because. as if i were a kid again