every page of my life.

heading out to batam for a short trip with F3 in a few hours. i still remember clearly our kukup trip right at the beginning of this year. now 2010 is almost over. i wanted to do my reflection on 2010 but there's no time. gna pack and blog abt 2010 when i'm back. /edit: alright let's play pretend and today is still 31st Dec 2010. 2010 was a gap year and i would say a life changing year for me. one where we took the step and cross over to the adult territory. the big break we had after 'A's was the first and probably the last we were told we will ever have in our life. further such big break will only meant prominent and someone is desperately looking for a job. :/ in 2010, I went to my first short trip with friends, kukkup with F3. Went back for taekwondo training in school for a while and passed my grading to become blue tip. Got my results, applied for university, pondered about my future paths, decided on one which sounded okay to me, very fortu...

Rapunzel was every bit as awesome as i expected it to be. it was my kinda movie, except that it didnt make me tear. yea, it may be a cartoon. but hey, let's not forget we can learn a lot from a cartoon. it is often the most simplest and truest lesson, just like all those stories we heard and read when we were kids. "I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be? And what if it is? What do I do then?" -Rapunzel i thought people in general always have that thought. placing dream to be something so far and so unachievable. yet, it's there so it will feel like we have something . so we wouldn't feel so empty. hence, we often fear when we are actually going to realise that dream. it feels like you are losing something instead of gaining some. well, you know what? the best and most unexpected answer of my query came f...

so finals had ended say three days ago. and christmas is over too. it had been a whirlwind of celebrations with beloved people straight after the last paper. both for the end of exams and for the festive season. i'm so confused by the stayover and late nights home for the past three days that i cant comprehend accurately which day or date it is. my sense of time is so screwed. but christmas this year is pretty fun, i guess. starting right off with my tutorial mates. pampered ourselves with food, chocolate ice cream and fries (BFF). screamed and laughed hysterically over games at settlers', letting another image show. then there's gift exchange and welfare treatments from Enzo. mask, drink, manicure, macs big breakfast. that's indulgement man. next was gift exchange with favourite F3, i got the most epic gift you can never imagine. and such a heartwarming dinner that i couldn't ask for more. they, i mean we feel just like a family. the cute baby was ...

is always the toughest. especially when you see all the rest retrieving their freedom. job burnout, that's what all of us are suffering from. feeling indifferent. which i shouldn't be. i was thinking, over and over again. maybe if i'm not having such high expectations for myself, i wouldn't be so stressed out. but i don't want to do things i know i will regret later. that includes giving up. at least i'm studying something i find interesting. well, i shall be happy that all of you are keeping me sane right now. social support  ♥ righttt, scrap OB, diffuse marketing concepts in. i can do this! holidays *gives half hearted yay*

i dislike how i lost my cool today. it just wasnt one of my best maths papers.  i wasnt completely not confident, i was just nervous. it's my first paper in an entirely new environment after all. and i had to injured myself five minutes before paper. bleed nonstop then realise i didnt bring tissue. totally great morale booster. not. anyway, i'm over it.  just that my toe really hurts. and the wound looks scary. ): i miss taiwan. i miss strolling up to strangers and talking to them freely. i miss acting like the world is ours to explore, and everything is fresh, new, exciting and waiting for us to discover. i miss that feeling, darn.

i should be studying now. not just now, but later, later, tomorrow and every single moment. mugging, i never actually like that word. doesnt even make much sense to me. righttttt, i should be studying starting from now. i think i'm experiencing job burnout. dont despair, i think know i can. i can do it!

sometimes i wonder where we started off from. and then i realised it's from the smallest stuff. i just hope this last, till when we grow up and old. and talk comfortably to each other just like how we are. ♥

it was the unofficial last day of school on thursday for this sem. my marketing group was cute and we decided to all wear the blue nbs shirt. and we took photos :] year 1 sem 1 was not bad. OB seminars was fun with the Quakers. marketing projects are enjoyable because of my awesome yin-yang balance team. stats are bearable because of funny antics of sx and xr. and i realise the people really matters a lot. blessed me, as i've met the good people. i'll miss tuesday break and thursday lunch with my tutorial mates! meanwhile, we have set a goal. BKK hopefully it comes true. i cant believe one semester is almost over. university life pass so surprisingly fast, in fact this year passed too fast. there have indeed been busy and stressed times yet i think i'm not doing enough. i havent been pushing myself hard. i seriously need to buck up. and i need a more fulfilling university life. i so wish.