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panic-stricken, nightmare frequent.

i've been meaning to update about my mutiple chinese new year house visits this year but i always fell asleep involuntarily.
work is tiring.
and i have no idea why, it's not like my jobscope is difficult.
but a whole day is pretty much wasted by the end of the day you get home.
work, get home eat, sleep.
cycle pretty much repeats.
everyday i promise myself i will get home early to sleep early and every single day i failed.

well the past weekends are all spent on bai nian-ing.
first mildred's, then shawn's, then huiyan's, winnie's then shing's hse sleepover.
most house visiting i had ever done.
chinese new year with F3 was pretty fun despite shawn's cheating of our money.
and random attempts to heart to heart talk by benny. ha
i think i had a total of 5 steamboats this chinese new year.
and i spent 24 hours at shing's hse, ha.
her mum's steamboat is still ever so delicious.

results are coming out in like what two days? one day?
everybody have been reminding me about it for a week.
and the pressure is building on.
what's more i have still no inkling of what course i may want to go.
and i have not browse through any of the brightsparks email.
or university brochures.
not forgetting to say i get nightmares about my results.
or sometimes when i drifted off, i think about it too.
truth is, i'm really really scared.
there's a whole room of uncertainty which my confidence does not have enough to fill.
and so you get more paranoid, starts to doubt yourself.
plus regrets probably follows.
that's why thoughts of results are terrifying.
can we get it but dont get it?
judgement day on friday, pray for me.

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