what makes a good ogl?
there are many many instances where i thought i could have done this better, should have done that better.
and i always ended camps feeling a whole shitload bunch of regrets.
orientation 2009 was the biggest of them all.
i've forgotten all of that until last friday, when we went back to help out at orientation 2010.
until this one guy came up to me at the end and told me this one sentence.
"It was you who inspired me." i never thought i did.
and the whole memory floodgate opened.
i remembered so vividly that it was at sss where he sat down in the middle of it and i asked him to stand and continue.
but he told me he was tired so i was really helpless, frankly i really couldnt think of any reason to convince him or myself but i just know he had to.
let me tell you something more about this guy, he was older than me by around 2 years old.
so at that time he was 20.
and i still remembered clearly that he said he was too old for this, too tired for this, his age start with a 2 not 1 like mine.
that pretty much rendered me speechless, so i just gave him a wry smile.
but he was still a really good sport and continued.
i dont know why but this moment stuck.
he wasnt such a bad camper, actually he was a really good one.
he was the one who was more initiative, one of the ones who first offered to help me.
and the one who spoke up and nudged one of the five girls in the class to hug me when i was crying out of control the first night.
it was a really cute moment.
and i remember very clearly some words he told me the last day.
he wasnt good at english then, but he tried his best albeit with a little stumbling.
he said that i was really brave and strong for someone so little to take care of such a big group.
i was really touched, plus never once had someone told me that i was little in my life.
but i did felt small during the three days then.
it wasnt words that are forced to form under the circumstances, he meant it.
i knew it then.
but i have forgotten them till the moment he came to thank me on that friday night.
his lips was quavering, so was mine.
i was really really moved to tears for the first time in my life.
i never did expected it since frankly speaking i wasnt close with any of my campers after camp or before.
i didnt thought i had impacted them this much.
frankly, there was lots of times that i doubted this whole leaders and camps things.
what's with so much controversies, and some said it is brainwashing.
there's like a whole different gangs, like the people inside and the outside.
and a lot of times you get very different feelings and comments.
when you are inside, you felt like such a family, a nice warm feeling.
but when you are outside, all that cricitism from people around me made me doubted myself.
so i was like this two-faced people.
it was really pointless to make other people understand what you were gng through unless they went through it themselves.
they just couldnt relate, at most they could just sympathise.
but i learn that ultimately it all boils down to what i feel.
and i am glad i joined, i learned and i enjoyed.
all i want to say to that particular camper is that,
you inspires me too, thankyou.
& i am really proud to say that you are my camper.
if the measure of a good ogl is by how many campers of yours who became leaders or cried during ewebs or came to thank you.
i have one who remembers and appreciates me, that is more than enough.
and i am really happy.
& it is through these relationships and interactions with people that make camps amazing.
not the cheers, not the games, but the people.
there are many many instances where i thought i could have done this better, should have done that better.
and i always ended camps feeling a whole shitload bunch of regrets.
orientation 2009 was the biggest of them all.
i've forgotten all of that until last friday, when we went back to help out at orientation 2010.
until this one guy came up to me at the end and told me this one sentence.
"It was you who inspired me." i never thought i did.
and the whole memory floodgate opened.
i remembered so vividly that it was at sss where he sat down in the middle of it and i asked him to stand and continue.
but he told me he was tired so i was really helpless, frankly i really couldnt think of any reason to convince him or myself but i just know he had to.
let me tell you something more about this guy, he was older than me by around 2 years old.
so at that time he was 20.
and i still remembered clearly that he said he was too old for this, too tired for this, his age start with a 2 not 1 like mine.
that pretty much rendered me speechless, so i just gave him a wry smile.
but he was still a really good sport and continued.
i dont know why but this moment stuck.
he wasnt such a bad camper, actually he was a really good one.
he was the one who was more initiative, one of the ones who first offered to help me.
and the one who spoke up and nudged one of the five girls in the class to hug me when i was crying out of control the first night.
it was a really cute moment.
and i remember very clearly some words he told me the last day.
he wasnt good at english then, but he tried his best albeit with a little stumbling.
he said that i was really brave and strong for someone so little to take care of such a big group.
i was really touched, plus never once had someone told me that i was little in my life.
but i did felt small during the three days then.
it wasnt words that are forced to form under the circumstances, he meant it.
i knew it then.
but i have forgotten them till the moment he came to thank me on that friday night.
his lips was quavering, so was mine.
i was really really moved to tears for the first time in my life.
i never did expected it since frankly speaking i wasnt close with any of my campers after camp or before.
i didnt thought i had impacted them this much.
frankly, there was lots of times that i doubted this whole leaders and camps things.
what's with so much controversies, and some said it is brainwashing.
there's like a whole different gangs, like the people inside and the outside.
and a lot of times you get very different feelings and comments.
when you are inside, you felt like such a family, a nice warm feeling.
but when you are outside, all that cricitism from people around me made me doubted myself.
so i was like this two-faced people.
it was really pointless to make other people understand what you were gng through unless they went through it themselves.
they just couldnt relate, at most they could just sympathise.
but i learn that ultimately it all boils down to what i feel.
and i am glad i joined, i learned and i enjoyed.
all i want to say to that particular camper is that,
you inspires me too, thankyou.
& i am really proud to say that you are my camper.
if the measure of a good ogl is by how many campers of yours who became leaders or cried during ewebs or came to thank you.
i have one who remembers and appreciates me, that is more than enough.
and i am really happy.
& it is through these relationships and interactions with people that make camps amazing.
not the cheers, not the games, but the people.
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